What is attachment wounding?
Our earliest relationships shape what we learn about connection — whether our needs will be responded to, whether it feels safe to rely on others, and what we may need to do to maintain closeness.
Attachment wounds don't always come from experiences we would describe as traumatic. You may have been loved and cared for while still having emotional needs that weren't consistently met. Understanding this isn't about assigning blame, but recognising how these experiences may still shape the way you relate to yourself and others.
You may recognise experiences like...
You worry about being rejected, abandoned or no longer wanted.
You seek reassurance or closeness, but find it difficult to feel secure even when it is offered.
You’re highly sensitive to changes in someone’s communication, availability or feelings towards you.
You adapt yourself to relationships and can lose sight of your own feelings, needs or preferences.
You find it difficult to rely on others and feel safer handling things on your own.
Closeness, vulnerability or depending on someone can feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
You can find yourself wanting connection and then pulling away when it becomes available.
When a relationship feels uncertain, you may urgently seek reassurance or closeness, withdraw or shut down — or move between these responses.
How I work with attachment wounding
Therapy can help us understand the patterns that emerge in your relationships and the needs that may have gone unmet or become difficult to recognise, express or receive.
Together, we can explore these needs and practise responding to them differently — within yourself and with others. We can also work with the body and nervous system, noticing habitual ways of seeking connection, protecting yourself or pulling away, and creating opportunities for different responses.
The therapeutic relationship can also be part of this work — a space to practise being in relationship while staying connected to yourself, your needs and your boundaries.
What healing can look like
Over time, therapy may support you to:
feel more secure within yourself and with others
recognise and express your needs more openly
trust yourself while becoming more comfortable relying on others
experience closeness while maintaining a sense of yourself
navigate distance, uncertainty and conflict with greater security
have greater choice in how you connect, respond and relate
